I've been sick for over a week... finally starting to feel better after getting some antibiotics a few days ago. Started with a really bad sore throat & cough, and while they both got less intense they didn't go away. Then I started getting really bad sinus headaches, and THEN something really interesting and gross happened-- it spread to my eye!! Wow! I was grossed out and intrigued... I've never seen my eye do anything like it! It got really red and swollen to the point where I could only open it about halfway, and kept oozing this thick yellow goo... and that's probably TMI already. But I was impressed, really. I think it somehow spread via my sinuses and tear ducts or something. With some antibiotic eyedrops, I'm now on the up and up... which is a lucky break for anyone who has to look at me. haha. :)
In other news... I took a hiatus from reading comments on news articles for a while, but I'm back to doing it again... it's like some sick pleasure. I can't stop myself. It's just a source of ignorance, bias, hatred, racism, and spouting off things that someone heard somebody else say... there is truly no value to them. And yet, I read an article online about whatever current event or pop culture happening is in the news, and without fail I scroll to the bottom... and I read, read, read. Can't stop reading... it's always been my blessing and my curse for as long as I can remember. A blessing because it makes academics come very easily to me, and I can quickly inform myself on just about any topic... but a curse because I can't stop, even when in the midst of complete tripe. I wish there was something like Ad-Block for comments... if anyone has an idea of how to help me with this stupid compulsion, I am open for suggestion.
Also!! My Snoops is moving in with us soon!! I am looking forward to this a lot... hoping to begin regaining more of a sense of community, and fighting my anti-social tendencies that just won't leave me. And besides that, she's one of my favorite people and I am HOPING that it will be mostly fun, with minimal conflict... and that any conflicts or discrepancies that arise can at least be dealt with in a healthy way. I am looking forward to having one of my best friends around just to chill and talk and catch up on everything. :)
The downside of this is that we need to clean... and not just clean, but DOWNSIZE to a fairly significant degree. Nothing that drastic I guess, but definitely moreso than Ryan and I have downsized since getting married. We seem to just expand to fill whatever space we occupy, and that's a pattern that needs to stop. We've been working on budgeting, and while that's a work in progress, I'd say we continue to grow increasingly mindful of our purchases, with only the occasional lapse into unnecessary purchases. But now the issue is weeding things out, and striving towards simplicity... I am a person who likes to save and prepare, and it is VERY hard for me to part with anything that might be remotely of use in the future. I know it needs to happen, though. I am overwhelmed by the amount of stuff we have sometimes, and I feel like it ties us down and restricts our freedom to some degree. I am hoping to start the process of breaking those chains as soon as this paper is done! I just want to hold on to EVERYthing... particularly my clothes. Realistically, I probably have at least double the amount of clothing that I need. But I feel like I need to hold onto it all "just in case" there is that one PERFECT opportunity to wear something! How crazy is that.
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| Sad, but true. Unfortunately. |
I think it goes deeper than just having too much crap around the house. It goes further, down into my very identity, and the way that I feel that my clothing and my appearance in general is this critical aspect of who I am. I am a byproduct of my culture, for sure... and that's the hard part. It's not just stuff. It's what the stuff represents. On the surface level, I can say that my identity is in Jesus, but dig down and it gets a lot messier. So, I think this will be both painful and healthy... looking forward to the end result when we have less stuff, less clutter, less junk to weigh us down... and more freedom to live for Jesus, in the center of his love, identity, and purpose. le sigh... can I fast forward a little bit, please??
...and there you go. I think it ended up being on the rambling end. I'll try to wait until I really have something to say before I post again... XD
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